I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
