I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
