If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
