her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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