god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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