shes about as inviting as chlamydia
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize