i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
