I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
