and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
