Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
