Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
she smelled like a LAN party
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
