Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
