its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
