areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize