You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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