I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize