One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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