my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
