i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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