Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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