mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My feet surprised me
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
