Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize