wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
