He disabled his match.com account in front of me
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize