I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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