I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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