This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
