Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
