just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
