Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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