The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize