just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
