Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
