I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
