do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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