Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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