Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
