Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
