Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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