When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
