I want to stick my p in your. b.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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