He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
