He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
