I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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