So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
