I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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