Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
