dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
