What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
