my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Randomize
