Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
