i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
