oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
