i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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