You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
