i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
