You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
