he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize