Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
this is an emotional support booty call
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
