Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
