I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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