Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
