Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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