last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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