I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
