you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
