Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
