when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
