Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
