i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
